Scars

After being awake for 36 hours, spending time at two hospitals, and more than 24 hours at one of them, I wake the morning after with more emotions than I can sort through easily. Most mamas-to-be realize that their ideal plan and wishes for their birthing experience may not always come to pass. One may need to adjust things in order for the best outcomes. My recent client had 10 things that were incredibly important to her. Witnessing her have to watch eight of these desires disappear, was tough. For many of them, she was not given viable options.

As a doula, we are trained in various ways. So much of what we learn, our important knowledge comes from evidence based research. A woman's body instinctually knows how to birth. We have been doing it for tens of thousands of years.

Modern Western medicine has a role, an important one, primarily when there are complications, and, many women feel more comfortable in a hospital setting "just in case" interventions are required. What I am experiencing and witnessing first hand, is how, even from staff shift change to shift change, the personal biases of RNs, OBs and DRs affect the birthing experience and outcomes. As options are presented to the labouring woman, risks are discussed for the less favourable (for the staff), often more time consuming options, and only the benefits are identified and discussed for the OB's/DR's personal preferences. Even with routine (and not always necessary) procedures before and after baby's arrival, risks (if any), are not discussed.

Many years ago, as a pregnant woman in my 20s, I assumed I would be told what to do when I was in labour, to go with the flow, and that the professionals would have my best interest at heart. I read one book and didn't really know what I didn't know. Part of a doula's role is to provide information and education to our clients, to help them have more information about what they can choose and what they can decline, and encourage them to always ask for benefits AND risks of procedures, both routine and emergency. Knowledge is power. It saddens me to watch a strong confident woman be admitted into a hospital room, and hour by hour have her preferences not be acknowledged or respected, and just fall to the bedside. It saddens me to see first hand the snowball effect of the first intervention leading to more than a dozen to follow. I am not so arrogant as to think that I know more than the DRs and OBs. I am smart enough to know that some of the things I saw and heard, and lack of information given, have left me with my own scar.

Watching my client deflate after having to make several really tough decisions was really hard. My role is to support her to the best of my abilities, which, in this case, pushed me WAY out of my comfort zone and into the OR. Holding her hand, connecting with her, grounding her, crying with her, has once again, made a profound impact on me.

Oh, and the two wishes that my client still got to keep? Have the baby in a hospital, and have a doula.